ASU Football: A Shakespearean Pre-Battle Speech for the Season Opener

Once more unto the season, dear Sun Devils, once more;

Or litter Kush Field with our tackled backs.

In the offseason, nothing so becomes a player

As intense workouts and dedication;

But when the rush of the season flows in our veins,

Then imitate the action of the Sun Devil!

Buckle the chinstrap, draw up the plays,

Disguise fair blitzes with pre-snap movement;

Then lend the 'Jacks a terrible sight;

Let Kelly fly the deep post to the end zone

Like the angry bull; let Cam Marshall o'erwhelm them

As powerfully as doth a Finkenberg block

O'erload and run past their confounded offensive line,

Blitz'd by the wild and powerful Bradford.

Now set the formation and split Rashad Ross out wide,

Hold hard the snap count and fend off every tackler

To Miles' full speed. On, on, you noblest Devils.

Whose tradition is fet from battles of Camp T!

Legends that, like so many Whites, Haynes and Tillmans,

Have on this field from kickoff till whistle fought

And left their glory in the Ring of Honor:

Dishonour not your teammates; now attest

That those coaches you call'd sirs did teach you.

Be victors over players of lesser teams,

And show them how Sparky plays. And you, good Devil,

Whose gameplane was made in Tempe, show us here

The level of your playmaking; let us swear

That you are worth your scholarship; which I doubt not;

For there is none of you so talented and skilled,

That hath not victorious lustre in your eyes.

I see you standing like warriors in Tillman Tunnel,

Awaiting upon the kickoff. The game's afoot!

Follow the pitchfork, and upon this night

Cry "Win for Sparky, Tempe and our fans!"

(For those unfamiliar with the Bard's source material)

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